She didn’t hold anything back during our interview, talking about sex as openly as you’d discuss the weather.
When I got what I needed for my story, I picked her brain seeking a little guidance for myself, because at that time, I was newly single and convinced true love just wasn’t going to happen to me.
She started talking about the science behind love, and I grew a deeper understanding about why my past relationships became the past, and what I could do to better my love forecast for the future. (Little did I know two years later, my forecast would turn out quite sunny.)
During the love process, Gunsaullus says twelve areas of your brain work together, releasing euphoric chemicals like oxytocin, adrenaline, and dopamine. Gunsaullus even compares love’s high to the rush you get from cocaine, because dopamine is known as the pleasure chemical. In fact, the chemical activates our pleasure center of the brain.
“Initially, it feels like you are addicted to crack, like that sudden high when you win something,” said Gunsaullus.
She says falling in love is also similar to compulsive disorders and other mental problems. (I suppose that explains the drastic measures we don’t like to admit to taking. We’ve all been there; acting nearly uncontrollable doing irrational things…oh, the crazy stuff we do for love!)
“I talked to one of my clients about this information and she said it made her feel better. She’s like, ‘Ok, that’s why I’ve acted so stupid.’”
The one-of-a-kind feeling also influences the more sophisticated part of the brain. For example, Gunsaullus says things impacted by love are body image, metaphors, and mental representations. Love literally changes the way we view the world and ourselves.
And this next tidbit shouldn’t come as a shock: there’s a difference between how men and women respond to love.
According to some scientists, we lovely ladies have more brain activity connected to reward, emotion, and attention; and on the other hand, our must-have males have more brain activity around the visual process.
“Men connect specifically with sexual arousal.”
So let’s say you meet the man (or woman) of your dreams and you’re mutually head-over-heels about one another. Does that passionate excitement ultimately wear off?
Gunsaullus says it does, but it‘s actually a good thing.
“If we stayed in that state where you’re burning the candles in both ends and that’s where you’re only focus is, we wouldn’t take care of ourselves.”
She says many scientists argue the fireworks fizzle when you hit that year-mark because our bodies get used to the love stimulus. It’s as if we build a tolerance to the “L” word.
