Homesickness
It is not uncommon for students who have gone away to college to be homesick. Bousquet recommends that parents encourage their students to get involved, stay at school and not come home immediately. "Those first few weeks of school are key as students make connections with other students and if you have chosen to go home for the last two weekends in a row, you are at an obvious disadvantage," Bousquet says.
"However, there will come a night, during that first semester, when you receive 'the phone call,'" Malcolm says. "When the reality of being truly independent hits your child and feelings of vulnerability and loneliness emerge." Malcolm says parents should take more of a supporting role during this trying time rather than managing their child's emotions for them. "It's difficult, but that's when your parenting needs to change."
Staying Connected
Many parents face the anxiety that once their student leaves for the semester they'll be out of the know. Contrary to this popular belief, many universities form networks for the purpose of keeping parents in the loop. At NAU, a popular form of communication with parents is via an electronic newsletter called "The Backpack."
"The name comes from the days when parents sent their students off to school with a backpack and when the students returned, they'd look through the backpack for notes from the teacher," Bousquet says. Once your student goes off to college, parents are no longer in a position to look for teacher updates, so universities like NAU and many others around the U.S. have initiated e-mail correspondences to update parents who are interested. Bousquet says that regularly updating parents on services at the university, events on campus and upcoming deadlines helps parents be better partners with their students.
Empty Nest 101
When a new college student's semester begins, in many ways their parents' schooling begins too. Learning to navigate a newly emptied nest can be difficult for many parents. Laura recommends taking on new classes, activities and clubs to keep busy and avoid self-pity. "Your own personal growth as parents will be your true legacy to your child," she says. "Don't neglect yourself. Continue to invest in yourself, to learn, to test yourself, and to grow as a person and parent."
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Parent Study Session
These reads can help reduce the speed bumps on the road to your graduate's success.
"Don't Tell Me What to Do, Just Send Money" by Helen E. Johnson and Christine Schelhas-Miller. $18. Amazon.
"Letting Go: A Parents' Guide to Understanding the College Years" by Karen Levin Coburn. $15. Borders.
"The Biggest Job We'll Ever Have" by Laura and Malcolm Gauld. $15. Barnes & Noble.
