I woke up like this…
The quote , “I woke up like this”, made popular by Beyonce , can possess different meanings to so many. From someone that has spent years fighting for her health and happiness…..this term #iwokeuplikethis has a tremendous amount of meaning and backstory.
Nine years. I start out with 9 years because that is how long I competed. Nine years of being subject to comparison, extreme behaviors and trying to reach this unattainable goal that was unequivocally unreachable. I was the kind of person that if you told me to eat dirt I would have eaten dirt. If you told me to do 3 hours of cardio , without a question I was going to do that and have done that. I wanted so badly to do well (whether It be by my placing, pressure or to please others) that I was blind to what I was actually doing to my health and most importantly my mind.
Where did I lose my way? When did I stop loving myself? When did I start caring about what others thought? I do not blame competing for my struggles, I can own up to my choices because they were “my choices” at the end of the day. But I do know….I had lost my way…..my perspective and I had stopped loving myself.
To live your life by your standards is not easy for some. To speak your truth even if your voice shakes is difficult for many to fathom.
But, to finally “wake up” free from judgment, ridicule, bullying and negativity is taking a stand and finally opening your eyes to the realization that we only live this life once.
Many people out there do not know what it feels like to “wakeup” in the morning, take a look at themselves in the mirror and truly love themselves. Negativity seeps in and takes over our thoughts. It wasn’t until my health was at it’s worse that I would wake up and pray to feel healthy, normal, to have a life without depression and anxiety. It took hitting my worse to “wake up” and not focus on my physical health but more so my mental and inner health.
From spending so many years trying to attain physical perfection to finally letting go of all of that and focusing on my inner health is truly “waking up” and accepting your body as is.
- I woke up like this- my body as is, with cellulite on the back of my legs.
- I woke up like this- acne scars on my face
- I woke up like this- curly, unruly hair
- I woke up like this- worked through the most horrible times of my life to come out happy and healthy.
- I woke up like this- to FINALLY loving myself enough to stop bingeing and extreme behaviors
- I woke up like this- TO NOT JUST SAY” I LOVE MY BODY” BUT TO ACTUALLY MEAN IT.
Not everyone will understand my story and that is ok…but if I can inspire, motivate and help others than I know I am truly living my purpose!
Thank you so much for reading!