Annoying Things Yogis Do

Are you an annoying yogi?

Are you an annoying yogi?

Okay, I know yoga is all about opening up, letting go and embracing kindness… but sometimes I get super annoyed in yoga class… like the-person-next-to-me-is-breathing-so-loud-I’m-going-to-lose-it! annoyed. Not very Namaste of me, I know. Heck, sometimes I even annoy myself… like how I have to have my mat perfectly aligned… and how I only like to be on the left side of the room… and how I always forget to grab a blanket and then have to tiptoe across the room mid-class when malasana rolls around. OMG I’m annoying! To see if you’re annoying too, read on…

The Most Annoying People In Yoga Class (drumroll, please…)
The OOOOOMMMMMMMer
The longest and loudest OM doesn’t win. It’s not a freakin’ competition.
R U Guilty: Everyone can hear your OM.

The New Ager
This person is so into crystals, aromatherapy and spiritual vortexes.
R U Guilty: You have a Ganesh tee or a COEXIST bumper sticker

I am so spiritual

I am so spiritual

The Yoganista
It’s not a fashion show, it’s yoga. Lose the leg-warmers.
R U Guilty: Your look isn’t complete without yoga accessories.

The Yoga BFFs
Downward dog twins who chat, giggle and wear matchy-matchy outfits to class.
R U Guilty: You never yoga alone.

We are yoga BFFs!

We are yoga BFFs!

The Super Sweater
Yes, sweating is good… a puddle of perspiration in front of your mat is not.
R U Guilty: You drip on the person next to you.

The Over-Achiever
This is the dude or dudette who can’t follow the flow, they’re too busy doing their own thang.
R U Guilty: You’re in full lotus while everyone else is in child’s pose.

show off!

show off!

The Tardy Yogi
Class has started and in walks the unpunctual one.
R U Guilty: Everyone has to move their mat to make room for you.

 

 

5 Comments

  • D'Lisa Shayn says:

    I find this article just full of unnecessary criticism. I am not a yogi by any means, but those people that I do know that do it are a spiritual bunch who are centered and kind.
    So what if someone has a long OMMMMMM that is loud, it is them centering themselves in their own way.
    Someone is into crystals, aromatherapy and vortexes and that is bothersome to you, why? Crystals have been scientifically proven to have certain energy as does our bodies and they can work in harmony together. Aromatherapy has been around forever and there have been brain scan tests that show the effects of it. But I guess that popping a pill might work better for some.
    If someone enjoys having a fashionable outfit and it makes them feel good and look good who are you to judge them? Maybe they have poor circulation or their feet get cold and the leg warmers actual help with that but keep the balls of their feet exposed for traction. Who knows, but again why does it bother you so?
    Two people going to class together and dressing alike, oh my for shame!! Sometimes people need other people for motivation to actually work out. Some people like to dress alike because it is an outward way of showing the world how close they are. How about love the love instead of making fun of it.
    If someone is sweating to much it isn’t their fault, they can’t control it! It is a natural function of the body! Now I do think wiping the puddle up ever now and again and not dripping on someone is a good thing, but you can’t fault someone for sweating.
    While in yoga class why are you so concerned with someone who is doing a harder pose than you? Concentrate on yourself, that is why you are there, to make yourself stronger, inside and out.
    Now the tardy person, they suck…
    But really people, where is the love? Why such negativity? Next time you are picking someone apart for their choices, try to stop the flow of negativity and think of something kind. You will feel better, I promise.

  • Allison says:

    So funny and so true!

  • Allison says:

    I’m guilty of all of the above, and more… I’m also guilty of wearing my yoga clothes long after class is over… and “name-dropping” yoga teacher names. The article was written a little tongue-in-cheek, not to be taken TOO seriously.

  • Serene says:

    Did a 12-year-old write this? It is not only full of junior-high level mean-spiritedness but it also demonstrates so much profound ignorance about yoga I am wondering why the author was even chosen to write it. That person who is breathing so loudly next to you? He or she is practicing ujjayi breath, a vital breathing technique that is intrinsic to the poses and that EVERYONE in the room should be doing. The person with the longest OM? They are maximizing the vibrational benefit of this healing primordial sound. There is a specific purpose behind sounding OM and you’re right – it’s NOT a competition, so why are YOU creating comparisons? The “overachiever” who isn’t identically matching you move for move? They are appropriately tuning in to their self and listening to their own body’s needs, possibly even adjusting their flow to compensate for an injury or physical limitation. In fact, that’s exactly what you should be doing because yoga is about getting in touch with and changing YOURSELF, not the people around you. The person who sweats – are you kidding me? You’re annoyed by something a person has absolutely no way of controlling? I could go one here but, honestly, if this thoroughly lame and unfunny article is what you have gotten out of your yoga classes, you should just quit. I’m still trying to figure out why you would need to fetch a blanket during malasana – that would be Squat pose, where no one needs a blanket.

  • Allison says:

    I’ve pulled both of my Achilles tendons, so I need to roll up a blanket under my heels to squat. I wish I were still 12 🙂

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