Sex Talk 101

The man and a woman laying under a duvet. evening night time. view from above

Written by Chardai Fisher


1. Either the male or female division of a species, especially as a differentiated regarding the reproductive functions.

2.the instinct or attraction drawing one sex towards another, or it’s the manifestation in life and conduct. 

Sex up, informal

  1. To arouse sexually
  2. To increase the appeal of; to make more appealing, attractive, or exciting. 

Have you wondered when the right time to take my relationship to the next level sexually is? 

Well, I have. Since dating my boyfriend, we have used different precautions to prevent pregnancy, sexually transmitted diseases, and many more things. 

The discussions started as we discussed the things that gave us both fireworks in the bedroom. We both got tested first to ensure our safety. This conversation doesn’t have to be hard. Just say, “Hey, my love when you’ve been tested last time?”

Wait for the answer, then simply ask, would you like to go with me? Can we agree that being informed is the best?

Can this be scary? Yes. Is it nerve-racking? Yes. But this is a conversation that needs to happen.

This way, there are no surprises the day, week, or a few weeks after. We both knew that having more children was off the table, so the search for prevention was on. What are our options (birth control, dental dam, condoms, snip snip)?

If you are wondering, what are my birth control options? As I was after my separation and getting back into the dating life. Ladies and gents, we have choices, and I mean lots of them.

We have the pill, with over five options depending on your hormone levels. There are even reversible, or temporary, types of birth control, which include barrier methods such as condoms, cervical caps, or diaphragms that prevent sperm from reaching the egg.

Your Mechanical methods that prevent implantation include the intrauterine device (IUD) that prevents implantation of a fertilized egg in the uterus.

What are Dental dams, you ask? I wondered the same thing in my research. They are thin pieces of latex that can be used to protect against sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) during oral sex or rimming (anilingus).

They come in the shape of a small square or rectangle, and each piece should be used only one time. They were initially made for medical devices by dentists. Now, dental dams are also used during oral-vaginal sex and oral-anal sex. 

If you are in the mindset of no new kids, there are permanent methods of birth control available for both women and men.

These examples include tubal ligation for women and vasectomy for men. 

A newer method of permanent birth control, known as Essure, is available for women. It involves the placement of inserts in the Fallopian tubes and does not require surgery.

We are all aware of the pleasures of the magic word SEX, MAKING LOVE, SLEEP WITH, THE FEEL GOOD, HOOK UP, GET LUCKY, or as my mom says” doing the nasty.”

  1. Have sex is by far the most common and appreciate term to use.
  2. Making love is a collective term but is used in a relationship with a boyfriend or girlfriend, partners, lovers, husband, and wife
  3. Sleeping is a term used when two people have sex with not much sleeping. 
  4. The feel good is less commonly used but a comical use
  5. HOOK UP is something that is said all the time but is vague and doesn’t always refer to having sex
  6. Get lucky is a term that’s been made more popular in the 2000s
  7. Doing the nasty well, my mom made this term, so use it as you please. 

I’m no pro in this department, but pleasure is what I am looking for every time the magical moment happens. As the day approached my d***appointment, I knew that I needed some help with my head game.

You know being tied down and married for years and all, so I pulled up Youtube (3 Amazing Blowjob Tips) for a quick tutorial. You wouldn’t believe what I found and the results that I got from my main squeeze. I felt like I was in control, I felt the passion that I’ve never felt before all while pleasing him.

Which lead to him pleasing me, I saw rainbows and butterflies and was left wanting more. This smoking hot appointment of passion, thrill, lust, naughty moves relaxed me and left me ready to take on the day, I felt like Wonder Woman.

“Lack of sex will have you mad at the littlest things, like why is the floor on the floor?”

If it’s been a while for you and you’re looking to get your groove back or new to” the sex,” going to score, going all the way, or hitting a home run includes 4 play. 

  • First base- kissing and touching
  • Second base- touching, heavy petting, and rubbing 
  • Third base- oral sex
  • Home run- intercourse


Depending on if you are the spontaneous type you feel, you need it, and you want it in the car, kitchen, etc. Or if you are the scheduled type Every Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday at 7pm after the kids are in bed.

No matter if you swipe right and meet that special someone tonight or if you’ve known each other for weeks, months, and years and decide to take it there, sex will mean something different to everyone, and that’s the beauty of it. It’s human being answering our animal instinct while connecting on a deeper level or exchanging energies. 

We need this release. We need to let go. We need love. We need lust. We need to feel connected. We need to get naked. We need orgasms damn it! Lots of orgasms. 

I will leave you with this sex that can be electrifying, magnetic, and amazing. It is different for everyone; a lot of factors are involved in your taste and preferences and your partner’s taste and preferences. It depends on your sexuality and sexuality. There are many ways to describe sex and positions that please you both and remember, don’t compare your sex life with others. We are all at different levels and have different ways of fulfillment.

We are entirely different and have required different pleasures. If you’re like me and wondering, hey, what are the health benefits of sex. Sex reduces stress, lowering blood pressure, burning calories, increase heart health, strengthening muscles, reducing your risk of heart disease, stroke, and hypertension.

 Sex is UNIQUE and is never the same from partner to partner. If you’re exchanging this experience with multiple partners, you may find different ecstasy moments from person to person.

If you’re sharing this moment with one special someone, remember to keep it fresh, exciting, and new.

Always check with your partner to ensure that they are satisfied. 

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