Why Are You Still Single?

Last month, the CEO of Kelleher International, Amber Kelleher-Andrews, moderated The Great Love Debate in San Diego. A unique and interactive event where renowned  love experts and San Diego singles came together to discuss, dissect and debate love and relationship, this year’s Great Love Debate asked the question, “Why are you still single?” It seems like most singles are actively trying to get out of a dating rut and find love, but somehow end up perpetually single. So why are you still single? Here are three explanations that may surprise you.

Reason 1: Your Expectations Are Too High

Compatibility is hugely important for relationships to succeed. If your expectations are set at an unrealistically high level, then your would-be soul mate really is not compatible with you. For example:

A guy who refuses to get in shape, is anti-social, underemployed, unhygienic , obsessed with his hobbies, etc., but demands nothing short of a super model with a successful career in his dating choices is likely to experience a lot of heart ache and thus remain single for the foreseeable future. When he can’t figure out why he is still single, he assumes that all of the women in his life are somehow to blame. However, if the man were to look more closely within himself, he would see that he had unreasonable expectations. He feels entitled to date anyone he wishes but offers no incentive for his dream date to even want to consider him. This is an issue of compatibility. The guy in this example presumably does not lead a lifestyle that even remotely resembles the lifestyle of his dream date. He just does not have enough in common with his ideal life partner. In order for him to become more compatible with the super model type of woman, he would need to work a lot harder, both in his career and in his personal life. He would need to get into shape, take care of himself, and lead a more active lifestyle, as well as refine his social skills and “get a life,” so to speak.


For another example, consider the successful woman who has no shortage of attractive and successful suitors, but turns them all away for the small of things. Perhaps one gentleman was too short, or maybe he likes one movie that she hated, or perhaps his career was not to her liking. Yet she will complain that there are “no good men” to be found. This is a case of just being too picky. The woman is so busy looking for absolute perfection that she is missing out on relationships that may be perfect for her.
One thing that singles need to realize is that nobody is perfect. The key to compatibility is being with someone whose imperfections compliment your own. If it seems like you are perpetually single, then it is time to ask yourself if your expectations are realistic or if they are just too high.


Reason 2: You Are Unable to Invest in Another Person

You may have good looks, a great career and a wonderful personality, but if you are unable to commit and be emotionally intimate with someone, then you probably are not going to be able to nurture a lasting relationship. To really foster a strong emotional connection, you have to be bold and take risks. Open up to the other person and invest in the relationship. The results may be well worth your initial discomfort.

Reason 3: You Have Low Self-Esteem

If you don’t respect yourself, then how can you ask for respect from a romantic prospect? When you are confident and take care of yourself first, others will be attracted to the idea of taking care of you emotionally, mentally and physically. Treat yourself with respect and good things will follow.

Finding someone with whom you are compatible is not rocket science, but that does not mean it’s easy! Kelleher International is dedicating to finding your perfect match and getting you on your way to a lifetime of romantic bliss. (Content provided by Kelleher International)

Looking for love? Contact Jean Adams, Managing Partner at Kelleher International (Making Love Happen Since 1986!)

(480) 948-7800

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Related Posts