In every relationship, there comes a time when the couple is inevitably confronted with some type of disagreement or issue. While it is only natural for both partners to have their differences, what sets a healthy relationship apart from a toxic one is how these problems are dealt with. At Kelleher International, we understand how serious fights can be. That is why we are here with seven conflict resolution tips for couples that can help them move past an issue in a healthy manner.
1. Pause – Rather than leaving the room or raising your voice, simply take a moment to pause and reflect. Listen to what your partner is saying. Try to understand where they are coming from and what the underlying issue is. Reacting in the moment can cause more distress than necessary. Pausing, however, gives both parties the opportunity to regroup and settle their thoughts.
2. Keep it personal – Keep the conflict between you and your partner. Try to avoid venting to family or friends. Not only does this shade their view of your significant other, but it intensifies the issue. Rather, spend that time mending with your partner to resolve the problem. You two are the ones who know each other the best. You two are the ones who know what the true conflict is. Therefore, it is best to keep the issue between the both of you to encourage resolution.
3. Think twice – Always think twice before speaking, especially while in the heat of the moment. While this might prove to be difficult, it can be a life saver. If you or your partner are clearly upset or angry, chances are that someone will say something they don’t mean or will eventually regret. Be sure to contemplate how your words will affect your partner and the relationship overall. Words carry a significant amount of weight. Once they are said, they can only be forgiven, but never rescinded. Always think twice.
4. Express what is needed – Rather than expecting your partner to be able to understand what you are feeling or what you need, simply tell them. In relationships, communication is a priority. None of us are mind readers. If you need a few moments alone, vocalize that. If you need to relax with your partner without talking, say so. It is important to express what you want or need from your significant other. This is especially true during a disagreement. Everyone handles differently, which makes it necessary to express what you need in order to move forward and resolve the issue.
5. Focus on the issue at hand – Do not backtrack by bringing up past arguments and differences. It is important to focus on the conflict at hand. Avoid saying, “you always do this” or “you never do that” to your partner. Do not mention patterns from previous fights – those are in the past and have already been moved on. This will only escalate the problem even further. While it is easy to let the little things build up, you must choose their battles or else nitpicking begins.
6. Ride it out – Do not go to bed upset with one another. If something cannot be settled, discuss the issue and come to terms with a compromise. Just because a couple has their differences does not mean they are not compatible. Quite the opposite, actually. It is only human to disagree every now and then. Just be sure to finish the conflict and reach a compromise to resolve the issue; ride it out until both parties are satisfied and feel as though they can move on.
7. Make up – Once the disagreement or fight has concluded, enjoy the makeup portion of conflict resolution. There is always calm after the storm. Embrace this together. Conflicts have a way of taking us through a roller coaster of emotions. After the issue has been resolved however, it is time to rejoice with your partner and enjoy one another’s company. This is usually when the couple finds themselves closer than ever.
Regardless of the conflict, if you and your significant other truly want to be together, an agreement will ensue. These tips will help make the process easier and healthier. Conflict resolution is a vital part of any relationship; this determines how disagreements are handled, and how much stronger the couple is after a dispute. If you and your partner want to be sure that you are both ready to be in a committed relationship, we can help.
Finding someone with whom you are compatible is not rocket science, but that does not mean it’s easy! Kelleher International is dedicating to finding your perfect match and getting you on your way to a lifetime of romantic bliss. (Content provided by Kelleher International)
Looking for love? Contact Jean Adams, Managing Partner at Kelleher International (Making Love Happen Since 1986!)