The most commonly referred to stigma of our society, divorce, has held that negative point of view for quite some time. With almost 25-years in the family law industry, Angie Hallier has seen it all and has experienced it herself. The Wiser Divorce fully crushes that lasting stigma and presents the readers with the brighter end to the divorce spectrum: “your next best life”- each person emerging from the divorce process a happier, healthier, and more fulfilled person.
We sat down with Hallier for a Q&A about her brave and influential book that has just hit the stands:
1. What truly brought you to write a book?
“After practicing divorce law for almost 25 years, I’ve learned the strategies that can make a divorce go surprising right or horribly wrong. Strategies about how you speak about, how you think about, and how you act about your divorce, as you go through it, can make a profound difference on the life you’ll have after our divorce. When people go through it, the focus is so often on the emotional aspects as opposed to looking at how this sets you up for your “next best life.” I thought it was really important to help people shift that focus from negativity to a positivity.”
2. What was the hardest part about writing a book?
“The length of time that it took to be able to organize my thoughts to make my message clear to the reader. There’s so much information and so many testimonies but how do you portray that to the reader? The book has a lot of real life examples of people who had great success and happiness in life after the divorce even though that didn’t seem possible initially when they were faced with divorce.”
3. What was the most rewarding part of writing this book?
“The book has gotten a lot of support from my clients whose stories are within the chapters. Having their support has been so incredible. I have been interviewed from people around the country and have had a great response from people in the financial industry and the therapeutic community.”
4. In your own explanation, what is the book about and why does it mean so much to you?
“I am currently in my own “next best life” from my first divorce. I went through it; I went through it all. I know how great life can be after divorce. I also know the financial and emotional drag that divorce can have on people when they don’t have a guidebook. It’s not about the law of the matter. While the book does talk about judges and attorneys to some extent, the book is much more of a tutorial. It’s so important to get people thinking on the right stage before they embark on divorce and all that it brings. I wrote this book for those thinking of divorce, going through divorce, or that have a loved one is going through divorce. It truly helps to understand: how are you going to speak to the world about your divorce? You don’t want your divorce to be gossip to everyone.”
5. What did you personally go through while writing this book?
“Before actually writing the book, I had all of these unorganized feelings and thoughts. I personally learned how to wrap my head around what I really wanted to portray and how to organize that information. Writing the book for me really clarified my philosophy about divorce.”
6. Why is divorce such a difficult topic to address in public?
“Divorce still has a negative stigma attached to it that it really shouldn’t have any longer. So many people are divorced; so many children’s parents are divorced; and, the fact that we still treat it like this negative bad factor in life is really past its day. It’s such a part of our modern life. What it truly is, no matter the circumstances, is the pathway to two people’s happiness. Do you want to be happy or do you not want to be happy? That's the question. People still look at divorce as having one winner and one loser. That’s the wrong approach. It’s about two people that cannot find happiness together evolving into two happy lives.”
7. What kind of effect do you hope that the book has?
“I really hope that it will change how communities and families view divorce. I truly want it to be about what I explained and defined above; two people that cannot find happiness together evolving into two happy lives.”
For more information about The Wiser Divorce and Angie Hallier, click here.
