William and Kate: 15 Fun Royal Wedding Souvenirs

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By • Apr 15th, 2011 • Category: Editor En Route Feature


Hello ol’ chaps! Who’s excited for the royal wedding? I’ll be honest, I wasn’t excited until I saw that my favorite designer in the world, Jonathan Adler, designed this fabulous commemorative plate for the occasion, to be auctioned off for a British homelessness charity. Sometimes things that feel too far away don’t interest me unless there’s something shiny in front of my face. Like when I wasn’t going on a Miami Spring Break trip until all my girlfriends came home with tons of “pool jewelry”. I wanted to wear jewelry by the pool, and booked my trip. Shallow.

Similarly, I wasn’t super interested in these people or their wedding, because it was months and months away and I thought William could do better. That was until I was invited to a fab party that day (two, actually!) and started fixating on what a Royal Wedding watching party might entail. Teacups. Biscuits. Lace gloves. Hats. YES.

So I got all materialistic and went hunting for my favorite Royal Wedding tchochkes. I hope you enjoy, because I really, really do.

First and foremost: Live out your delusions of grandeur with this Princess Ring for only £49.95 plus shipping. This is just one pathetic step below all those Heart of the Ocean replicas the masses bought after Titanic.

For the men in the room, pick up super-useful hand-screened “Throne-Up” vomit bags by artist Lydia Leith. Only £3 each.

You may not have a personal couturier like Kate Middleton will, but you can certainly play dress-up with these Royal Paper Dolls. Each doll comes with seven outfits. It’s certainly less expensive than couture at only $9.99 for the set.

Jonathan Adler’s needlepoint British Flag Coaster Set is fun for “thumbing your nose at tradition” at teatime or cocktail time. Each coaster is velvet-backed. $48 for four.

You may have no ties to Great Britain, but wave this Royal Couple Flag like you mean it and nobody will ever know. Flags are £14.99 to £29.99, based on size.

This Aynsley Engagement Tankard is a great deal at only £61.50 including shipping. Why drink out of a normal cup when you can sip tea out of this royal vessel?

God, what I wouldn’t give for a set of these Royal Wedding Nail Decals. Unfortunately they’re only available at Westminster souvenir shops. Anybody overseas who might want to send me a set?

For Condoms of Distinction, be sure to visit Crownjewelscondoms.com. Their slogan is “Lie back and think of England.” Gross. A package includes a “timeless souvenir heirloom collector’s box”, three individually-wrapped condoms and a collectable portrait of the royal couple as they might appear on their wedding day. I don’t even want to know.

Have some RoyalTea with the whole Royal Family! Put the whole family in the tub (a teacup) for a soothing cup of Classic tea.  $13.95 for five. But where’s Kate?

Woof. Your pup deserves a royal pillow, don’t you think? Jonathan Adler’s $245 British Flag Dog Bed is a way to take him from pauper to prince for William and Kate’s big day.

The Franklin Mint has released 5,000 Kate Middleton Royal Engagement and Royal Wedding dolls, for only $195 each or $490 for both. Better not take those out of their boxes.

A Royal Worcester Royal Wedding Lion Head Vase is just the epitome of regal flower-holding. The official name of the item actually has Royal in it two times. No word on whether that’s real gold, but for £400 plus £392 for shipping, I hope it is.

If you’re going for practical, check out this Prince William and Kate Middleton Commemorative Fridge by G.D.H.A. (the UK’s G.E. distributor). Price TBD, but apparently these are “a popular choice”. Really?

For those of us who are just plain bitter, this It Should Have Been Me Plate is well worth the £12.


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